A Christmas Story...Mas o Menos

James, be ready to go in an hour and half!" Luigi shouted hurriedly through my tent wall at the crack of dawn as he took off to run some last minute errands. I quickly began packing all my belongings for the much needed Christmas trip to Coyhaique. Neal (another puma researcher) and I, if not for Luigi inviting us to spent the holidays with his family, would be lone occupants of the Estancia. My tent was packed and ready in no time, even after being up for three straight months. I was pumped to go. At that point, life on the Estancia had hit somewhat of a lull. I had not spoken with anyone since I had left, and I was in need of a change in scenery. Granted, the scenery is beautiful here, but too much of anything can be a bad thing. I rushed over to Luigi's to see how far along everyone was in the process of leaving. I excitedly knocked on the door, waiting for someone to answer and say, "Ready, lets go". Yasenia and Tammy (his wife and daughter) answered the door just as ready as I was. All their things were packed and ready to stuff in the truck, but we were missing one key element: Luigi. I should have known better. He is Chilean, therefore, we were on Chilean time. When he said be ready in an hour and a half, he meant three hours; and thats what happened.

Right about 10:30, Luigi came racing in, dirt flying in all directions, skidding through his own yard to get started loading the truck. "Are you ready to go," Luigi asked me. Are you kidding me? After waiting in his house for over an hour and a half. I didn't want to bother asking him where he had been all this time so all I had for him was a simple "Yep." As we started packing, I realized how large of a task we had at hand. Not only did we have to fit all our belongings into the bed of this small Mitsubishi 4x4, but we also had to fit a sheep, and Martin the sheep dog in as well. After spending about forty five mintutes arranging everything so the sheep and the dog would fit, Neal showed up. Neal wasn't supposed to come until the next day, but decided instead to come with us. That was ok, but we were quickly running out of space. Between the live animals, Christmas gifts, and raw meat packed away in their designated places, things were getting tight. We strapped down the enormous load with a single cord that was meant for climbing a mountain instead of holding it down. With all the things packed high like a traveling second hand salesman, roped down and ready to roll, we commenced our journey.

Things had changed since I first made the journey from Coyhaique to La Estancia. What once was brown and leafless was now overwhelmingly green. Before seeing the freshly changed landscape, my opinion of the route was very poor. People would tell me how beautiful the drive was, and how gorgeous the landscape is, but I would peg them for downright liars. How dare they tell me this poppycock. I had been here for three months, and I knew it didn't look as good as they said. But that was exactly it; I had been here for three months. A lot had changed since arriving at the mostly steppe landscape. Now that I was traveling back, my mind was being blown at every turn. Steep cliff faces hovering above groves of dense trees. As we drove through the winding forest, clouds drifted in and out of the canopy like a shapeless ghost. The road was lined with flowers showing a full spectrum of pinks, blues, yellows, and purples. Plants with leaves the size of small dinner tables jutted out from all sides. It was like driving through the Jurassic. Yes, I was totally waiting for a T-Rex to emerge.

After a twisting, rough, rollercoaster of a road, we arrived at Seis Lagunas. The Jungle-like scenary had changed into something more similar to what I think of as New Zealand. Rolling hills of long green grass with areas of rocky outcroppings spread throughout. Entering into the small cabin, it was exactly how I had imagined. Gaucho accoutrements everywhere, hides of all sorts of animals, carved furniture, and to top it off, homemade red deer mounts. I went and sat down on the goat skin covered chairs next to the fire place, and almost drooled. This place was awesome.

We began by trying to plan out our few days of gaucho christmas activities. We had packed inflatable canoes, so fly fishing was definately in the forecast. The horses hadn't been whipped for a while, so riding was also a top priority. Planning, planning, planning. Don't count your chickens before they hatch right? The entire visit to Coyhaique, we were being dumped on by the most out of place wet weather Coyhaique has experienced for a long time. Things should have been drying up. Cracked skin, little kids hyperventilating from thirst, dogs tongues rolled out of their mouth like a red carpet for the queen, but it was an uncomfortably wet 50 degrees, and showed no sign of improvement. Boredom set in instantly. All the girls had gone into town christmas shopping, and it was just us men left to our own devices (which are generally pretty sweet devices I must say).

The day started off with a rabbit hunt. No, not with rifles, but with Grey Hounds. Luigi has two tiger striped grey hounds that are always raring to go on a good bunny chase. We hadn't made it to the backyard yet, but the dogs knew what was about to go down. They were wagging their tails nonstop in anticipation of the upcoming sprint. These weren't just any tails either. They were like whips, nailing anyone within close proximity with a quick, and repeated crack. Once we got back there, we could see rabbits dotting the grassy slopes. Luigi yelled something similar to the word go, and they were off at light speed. If it hadn't been raining, there would probably have been a smoke trail behind them. It turned out to be very entertaining watching these dogs zip back and forth across the hills, which is pretty much all it was, but these rabbits had done this before. They knew just the routes and fortress's they could escape to, and there was no way those dogs were going to catch them. Next we were off to see the project Luigi had been preparing for over the last five years. Being partly gaucho himself, he understands that the life of the gaucho has become a sort of romantic tribute to the former ways of living, but only few have experienced it. Luigi, being the quick thinking cabellero (gentleman) that he is, decided that everyone should enjoy this rough way of living. He had accumulated almost all the things necessary to start his own little gaucho retreat, even a saddle for the more classy of women that has a specialized post in the front to wrap a leg around so they can be a lady and not reveal too much. After the explaination of all the things necessary to start this great idea, we had pretty much exhausted all the things that were possible to do around the house. We returned to the living room, but it was a bit cold to just lounge around. Luigi had the brilliant idea to grab us some panchos, but what pancho outfit would be complete without goatskin chaps? So we put on the chaps too, and to top it off, some nice sombreros. What great timing we had because Yasinia and Tammy showed up just in time to see us playing dress up.

The evening turned out great. We sat around, drank tea, practiced spanish, and the kid friendly guy that I am, I read a sequel to "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" to Tammy, and her cousin Nati.

The Next day was the 24th. There was much preparation ahead for the upcoming Christmas Eve dinner. We made a trip into town to buy some groceries for the meal, and it was packed. I'm not sure you can get away from the craziness of pre Christmas shopping. I flew to the otherside of the world, and still got caught up in the mix. Once returning from the town, things got busy. There was a lot of food, and everyone had to chip in at least a little bit of help. I began by helping Yasinia chop Garlic, and then we ,the Men, commenced cooking all the meat for the night. It was a great time. We just sat out on the porch, had a couple beers, and watched the rain fall and the meat sizzle.

Latin America is notorious for eating at ridiculously late times. We didn't end up starting the meal until 11 o'clock, but no one really minded, and we went about our Christmas festivities. Dinner was a delicious combination of meat, wine, meat, deserts, and did I say meat? To end the meal, we had pineapple flavored icecream with an apple cider liquor. I was totally content and ready for presents. I didn't have any under the tree, but I did have some for the family and Neal. For the family, I drew a picture of a family of Red Deer, and I gave a big bar of chocolate to Neal. It was more fun watching the kids open presents anyway. They were all so happy to get new things. Even the baby who had no idea what was going on was happy for one reason or another.

During the day of preperation, Neal and I were briefed on how great Christmas Eve was to go out dancing. It seemed like a great night to go out on the town. Who wouldn't be excited to go out for the first time in three months? We were reminded about this shortly after the presents. I quickly sprung to action, wasting no time to change into my party attire. A pair of jeans, and a long sleeve T shirt would suffice. We were so excited to go, we started invited all the males in the family to head out for a night of debauchery. I guess Christmas this year wasn't as sentimental for us since we weren't with our families. It ended up being just the two of us, but two is just enough for a wing man.

Upon our arrival, the night was crisp, but we were ready to jump in anyway. We were headed to a night club called "Piel Roja" which means Red Skin in english (so you know its good). Apparently, it is one of the most famous dance clubs in the south because of so many travelers that stop in Coyhaique. If you couldn't tell by the outside, the price showed it. It was about seven Luca to get in, which translates to about 15 bucks. That dented my pocket a bit, but it was one night out that I had needed for so long. We paid the price only to find the bar partially deserted. We stayed for a while, and had a couple of drinks, but we decided that wasn't where the party was at. We checked in with the bouncer to make sure we could get back in, and then headed outside. Everything was quiet except for a hole in the wall across the street. Why not check it out, life's an adventure right?

People were lined up to get in, and lights and smoke were billowing out the door. Thats when my skin actually started to turn red. The cashier looked at us as we walked up and said, "1500". Are you serious? 1500 pesos is the equivalent to about three dollars. Cheap and hoppin', I already loved it. As we entered, everyone was out on the dance floor boogeying down. I had the bartender slide me a beer, and I was off to boogey down with the best of them.

All I needed was a little warm up. After that, I could dance anywhere to any music. As we spent more and more time at the bar, we realized that this was a little bit younger crowd. It turned out to be an 18 and up club with the majority closer to 18 than up. We headed back over to "Piel Roja" for one last go at finding a crowd closer to our own age.

The place had finally filled up a bit, but by that point, it was just about closing time. I got one or two more dances in until we were finally kicked out. We headed outside to see the other club getting kicked out as well. What a short night to end so soon. After starting dinner at 11, and the 20 minute drive to the club, we hadn't had much time to take the night to its fullest. We went across the street, and started chatting with some people we had met in the bar. We started telling jokes, and we were having a grand ole time until their taxi showed up. They were going back to have a few more drinks at their house, and invited us if we wanted to go. Neal turned to me and said "Wanna go?" and I said "Sure," not really knowing what we were getting into. On the way over, we continued to tell jokes, laugh, and have a geniunely great time.

The taxi dropped us off, and we headed into a normal suburban style home. The door opened to a small living room, comfortably worn couch. It was like a normal American home. By that point, the alcohol had fully kicked in, and Neal and I were starting to get a little tipsy. There are some kind of funny ways to tell when you're a little drunk. One of the first signs you have gone a little overboard is looking for something to lean up against, which is exactly what we both did. I propped myself up against a good stable door frame, but my amigo was not as lucky, and picked the thin metal framed glass table behind him. Instantly, the table shattered, and our night of chaos began.

All the chileans were on their feet immediately, demanding money for the table. "Give me your money!" they kept saying to Neal. I turned around to try, and calm things down but was instantly met with loud spanish insults being blasted in my left ear by a crazy chilean girl. I threw my hands in the air and said,"Neal, let's get out of here," and he agreed. As we left, someone tried to punch me in the back of the head and missed, and promptly headed out of harms way. "Phew, a close one," I thought, but as I turned around, I saw Neal get caught with a hard fist, and then knocked to the ground in the middle of the street. "Oh, shit" was the first thing that came to my mind, and then I was off to save my friend. I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I knew I couldn't just leave my friend to get his ass kicked by a group of hoodlum chileans. They began hitting him with 2x4 pieces of wood, and giving him soccer kicks to the ribs as he hunched over on the rough asvault. I started to pick out my target. There were three or four guys on Neal, one guy standing close to the mix, the girl that had screamed in my ear, and another guy. I came in going for the guy standing next to the girl. I tried to give him one uppercut and missed, the second one I think connected, and as I turned around to find the other guy, caught a glimpse of the reflection of broken glass attached to the piece of wood that was destined for my face. I can only imagine it being a piece of a window frame with part of the window still attached. I was instantly out of the fight. I turned, bent over, but the guys started to try and hit me again. I wasn't going to get hit again. I took off, but I was in terrible shape. The Alcohol mixed with the blow to face left me only with a clamboring jog, barely able to get away. I turned around only to find that they were still after me with that now veteran weapon. I screamed at them "ES NAVIDAD!!" (It's Christmas), hoping they would realize what they were doing and have some sort of change of heart, but that only made the guy with the stick start chasing me again. I kicked it into high gear, and put my track muscles to work. I refused to be dragged down by a bunch of chilean punks. I made it as far as I could, and when I looked back, there was no one. I stumbled toward the side walk, falling into a muddy ditch, and furthering my state of complete dissarray. I stumbled from house to house, knocking and pleading for someone to answer the door, but no one would. Finally, I knocked a last time, and when no one answered I just leaned up against the window sobbing and helpless.

Just when I thought no one was going to come, a light came on and someone came to the door. Whomever it was had to be in shock, answering the door and finding a tall white man drenched in blood and street drainage, looking more like a zombie than a human being. They took me in, and asked me what had happened and then proceeded to get me to the hospital. As soon as they got me to the hospital, I was immediately rushed to a steel guerney, and the doctors began strategizing what to do.

I laid there disoriented, only concerned whether I was going to be able to see again and if Neal had made it out of there. I had had an eye injury before, and remember trying to open my eye right after it occured, and being able to see. This time, that didn't happen. I was so concerned I had lost my eye. Just as I started to wonder where everyone had gone to, Neal shows up. "Neal, what happened!, how'd you get out of there?" He said that after they started chasing me, it gave him enough time to get away. He said he ran down the streets trying to hail car after car, but every car would either swerve away from him, or throw it in reverse, and take off in the other direction. Finally, he said a man threw his daughters skirt at him out the window and burned rubber to get out of there. Finally, he made it back to the hotel we were staying at, and after ruining all kinds of apolostry, was given a ride to the hotel by the owner. He looked pretty banged up. He had cuts on his face, and gashes on his hands. I asked him how my eye looked, and with my one good eye, I saw a cringe come across his face. I asked him what it looked like and he said it looked like my eye was out of its socket. My stomach just dropped, and I just looked him straight in the face and said "Don't let them take my eye." All I could think about was a story I had heard about a man being bitten by a spider in a foreign country, and the first thing they tried to do, was amputate. Neal assured me that he wouldn't let them take it, and went straight to the doctor and said "Before you do anything, you talk to me!" In all honesty, I think we were still just a little shaken from the night. Right after, the doctor came, checked with Neal, then started sewing up my eye.

I stayed in the hospital for the rest of the weekend. As far as being alive, I was, but I was still having some issues. I couldn't open my eye all the way (Quasimodo esque), there was blood in my eye, and the most important, I hadn't eaten a good meal in days.

When I was released, I went to another doctor to have my eye checked out. There was only one optomologist in the region, and he was on vacation. The doctor I visited recommended I get the next flight to Santiago, and thats what I did. Once in Santiago, I visited the Las Condes Clinica, and had them check out my eye. They said my eye was fine, just some aesthetic issues. They did a beautiful repair job on it, and I took the next few days to recover and enjoy myself. That Saturday, I ended up going to a Cumbia concert with the band "Conmoción". It pretty much made my whole trip. Even though the trip was made because of some terrible occurrences, I needed the break, and everything worked out for the best. I am doing much better now, Neal is doing well too (although he is missing a small bone in his hand), and I am completely refreshed,and ready to work.